(It’s mopey 90s music time, my annual new year’s theme song: it’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last…)
As I sit here at the Columbus airport waiting to board my flight back to Portland, I find that I’m overwhelmed thinking about the past year (and the past week). Thinking about myself in the context of my family, I feel so alone, so rejected. In the past week, each member of my family made it clear that I mean very little to them, that they’re all more concerned with protecting themselves and their own interests. But when I think about myself in the context of my friends, especially after this past week, I feel so loved and supported that it’s hard for me to deny my worth in this world. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt that way, and I look forward to drowning out the voices of those who tell me in one way or another that I’m nothing more than something for them to use and abuse.
I have lots of plans for adventure in the coming year, and I’ll be writing about them here as the year gets going. In the meantime, happy new year to you and your loved ones!
Q: When it’s devastatingly clear that you are no longer welcome at your family’s home, what treasured keepsake do you grab on your way out the door?
A: The pile of your old security blankets, recently discovered in the closet.
Um, about yesterday’s post? Turns out Runnerboy lost his phone while skiing last weekend and doesn’t have the cash to buy a new one yet. Also, it appears that he doesn’t understand that email is a perfectly viable option for getting in touch with me. (This is a whole other issue.)
Right now I’m angry at all the crummy guys I’ve dated who’ve dropped off the face of the earth instead of communicating like a human being, because they’re the reason I always expect that sort of thing to happen.
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In other news, I keep unintentionally referring to my red-eye flight to Ohio as my “jet-eye.” Jedi! Ha ha ha. I predict this will get increasingly funny as I become more and more sleep-deprived.