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Long December

December 31, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

(It’s mopey 90s music time, my annual new year’s theme song: it’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last…)

As I sit here at the Columbus airport waiting to board my flight back to Portland, I find that I’m overwhelmed thinking about the past year (and the past week). Thinking about myself in the context of my family, I feel so alone, so rejected. In the past week, each member of my family made it clear that I mean very little to them, that they’re all more concerned with protecting themselves and their own interests. But when I think about myself in the context of my friends, especially after this past week, I feel so loved and supported that it’s hard for me to deny my worth in this world. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt that way, and I look forward to drowning out the voices of those who tell me in one way or another that I’m nothing more than something for them to use and abuse.

I have lots of plans for adventure in the coming year, and I’ll be writing about them here as the year gets going. In the meantime, happy new year to you and your loved ones!

  1. December 31, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    I’m so glad to see you have such a good attitude despite everything that is going on with your family. It breaks my heart to hear how your visit home went with them. It also makes me wonder about the future, because I just hope and pray someday they will realize their wrongs and come crawling back to you asking for forgiveness, patching up everything that has gone wrong for so many years. That is what you deserve. Until then though, you are right. Live happy and move on.

    Can’t wait to hear about your upcoming adventures!!!!

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