Home > Uncategorized > Ways to make Friday evening more difficult

Ways to make Friday evening more difficult

February 10, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments

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I’m at the Columbus airport yet again, waiting for my flight back to Oregon. There’s supposed to be a little snowstorm tonight, which I am sad to be missing. My heart still belongs to the Midwest, for sure. Why else would I be considering Minneapolis for my next move? (No worries – I don’t intend to move again for at least a few years.)

Earlier this week when I was on my way to pick up my friend Jennifer, there was a moment that made my heart hurt. She lives across the street from my old place, and as I pulled onto High St. from Como right by my favorite Columbus restaurant, I looked down the street, all lit up in the darkness, and my body throbbed, “Home.” I miss that crappy-looking little stretch of Clintonville, because it was home. Those were my places to eat at, shop at, walk to, run by. That was the comforting backdrop to some of the hardest years of my life. I haven’t settled in in Oregon yet, and too often I feel like I’m lost and flailing. I never allow myself to settle in anywhere – even at “home” in Clintonville – because I never believe that anything is going to last. Technically, nothing is permanent (shout out to Buddha!), but perhaps the chaos and unpredictability and conditional nature of so much of what I grew up with has colored my ability to truly feel at home anywhere.

P.S. Many thanks to Ashley for giving me the closest thing I’ve had to home in years.

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