I guess it’s been eleven days since I’ve written! Impressive. I’ve been distracted by work and running and randomly falling asleep (because I cannot restock my sleep stores, no matter how hard I try). There are books that I’ve intended to read as I settle into bed, but there’s this really cute cat who insists upon intensely snuggling with me, which usually involves a paw extended on my upper arm or a kitty cheek resting upon my shoulder. I am powerless!
The interesting thing about this break in writing is that I’ve actually wanted to write. I stopped journaling when I left Ohio, after diligently journaling the previous year, and I don’t have my piano as a creative outlet anymore. I don’t have a machine shop from which to “borrow” copper scraps so that I can continue lampworking (though I did buy a fire extinguisher!). I haven’t been yoga-ing…but I will be now.
You know you’re in Oregon when your therapist recommends that you work on your chakras. This is quite a change from my Luther-loving therapist last year! I know that I feel better after doing hip-opening poses, I’m just terrible at motivating myself to have a home practice. Just like I’m terrible at motivating myself to work on my core. I know it’s good for me and I’ll feel better in the long run…but no. I think I need a star chart to motivate myself. Stickers are excellent motivational tools.
But back to chakras. Since my imagination died when I took engineering coursework, I’m having a really difficult time letting myself go into hippie woo-woo territory. Maybe I can integrate stickers into this somehow…
On a related note, is it just me, or do other people start singing “I Feel for You” by Chaka Khan whenever they hear someone mention chakras?
It’s probably just me.
I began reading this post from Alice Bradley while sitting in the waiting room as my car got its checkup, but had to stop because I was laughing so hard, tears were threatening to stream down my cheeks. I thought that maybe I had gotten to the point where things that weren’t funny were striking me as funny because I’m so far gone, but nope. I just read the post again and couldn’t stop giggling.
Reading and Laughing! I haven’t seen you guys around here in a while.
I set up a birdfeeder above my balcony, for my enjoyment and for Frank to be tormented and for the downstairs neighbors to blow cigarette smoke into. It’s been a hotspot this morning, which has made both Frank and me happy. For a while, Frank just kept chirping at the birdfeeder once the birds had left, and I was scouring the trees for these mystery birds but couldn’t see them. Then Frank decided to lie down and rest his eyes. The sweet little birds came back to the feeder, so I whispered, “Frank! FRAAAANK! Birds!” and vigorously pointed at the feeder. Frank just stared at my hands, looking confused, as if to say, Why are you throwing your hands up in the air and waving them ’round like you just don’t care? Sometimes I wonder about that cat.
Speaking of that cat, I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Furminator order. I’ve been finding cat hair in my hard hat and coffee mug at work. This has gotten out of control. Thankfully, he LOVES to be brushed, but no amount of brushing lessens the insane amount of fur that cat sheds. There are tumbleweeds of fur blowing across my laptop right now. Make it stop!
I think that my laptop may be on its last legs for real now. I thought it was going to die two years ago, so I’d bought a new one. Then it got its second wind, so I declared it my lab laptop, or “labtop,” if you will. The keyboard has decided to go haywire this morning, so the typing, it is taking a while. We’ll see if I can perform an exorcism on it, or if it’s done for good.
Tomorrow I’m doing a race in Portland along with 30,000+ of my closest friends. I hate big races like that. And this one is mostly uphill, which also blows. And even though there will be 30,000+ people roaming around, there’s a possibility that I’ll run into Runnerboy. And since my hand got caught between two 400 pound pieces of metal at work yesterday, my middle finger is a bit purple-y and swollen. It’s like an italicized, underlined, boldfaced, purple SCREW YOU! And might I briefly comment that it’s really difficult not to express any visual or audible evidence that your hand is stuck between two 400 pound pieces of metal. Dude, I don’t want to get written up for a safety issue. (Now, had my fingers broken when it happened, then yes, I would be talked about by all of the department directors during next week’s safety call. I may have hid a broken wrist in Kindergarten, but it’s really difficult to explain why your middle, ring, and pinkie fingers are all purple and drooping.)
It’s time to apply some tape to my t-shirt to de-cat-hair-ify before the last soccer game of the season. Go Team!
I enjoy the quirkiness of the Bloggess, so when I read this the other day while on my lunch break and couldn’t stop grinning, I knew I needed to share it!
- After a quasi-philosophical lunch discussion with two of my favorite coworkers, the one who’s a Rosicrucian and believes he was Russian in a past life loaned me the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. I asked him what he thought about karma, if it follows you from life to life, and said that he believes it does. Then he said, “I’d probably get in trouble for saying this at work, but I think that people who are abused in this life were abusive in a past life.” What a comforting thought. I felt my face flush, and I don’t remember how I responded. Most likely with a “Hmm…yeah” and the hope that he didn’t read too much into my reaction. (I’m having a hard time getting through the book, by the way. For some reason, as I read it, I just start crying. I’ve been needing to cry for a while now, but usually can’t…unless I read a few pages of that book. I think one of the main things it’s triggering is the unexpressed grief I have over my grandpa’s passing three years ago.)
- Another favorite coworker (okay, I have a lot of favorite coworkers) was talking about one of his dogs the next day and how it had been abused by a previous owner. With a look of resignation, he said something to the effect of, “With a dog like that, you know they’re just never going to be quite right.” (On a related note, Runnerboy once told me he’d never adopt an abused dog. The guy in my therapy group told me to dump him right then and there, that I shouldn’t waste my time with someone who thought that way. WISE WORDS.)
- When saying goodbye to one of the (60-something year old male) employees I met at another plant site, as we shook hands, he winked at me. Ick.
- When working on the production floor on Friday, I caught one of the union guys staring at me for a bit too long. I hate the fact that I’m hyper-vigilant about this sort of stuff.
- When driving down the highway to my soccer game this past weekend, while wearing my super-sexy 18-year-old Umbros, a truck driver honked his horn as I passed him. It’s been years since I’ve gotten the truck-driver-honk, but it still makes me feel gross.
I just lack discipline. And focus.
I might be able to formulate a real post this week, after my therapy session where I hope to clear out some of the crud that’s gumming up the works. ‘Til then…MOAR MOUNTAINS!
Work has been unnecessarily frustrating, and my monthly friend isn’t making things any easier for me. I had a good (but physically painful) soccer game on Saturday, and a really good 7 mile run through farmland in gorgeous weather on Sunday. Frank was a sweet snuggler over the weekend, but the weekend went way too quickly and I really didn’t get done the stuff I wanted and needed to get done. I worked 9.5 hours today without a lunch break and felt so tired and sore and loopy and embarrassed all day long. I’m actively avoiding thinking about what was discussed in my last therapy session and actively avoiding reading much of anything — nothing informative, interesting, entertaining, or fluffy. But there’s something that I keep bringing to the forefront of my mind when I get to feeling overwhelmed by all the crap that I’m not dealing with…
I am so excited to do this in July!