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Going to California

Hey! I’m in Los Angeles for less than a day! Fourteen-and-a-half years ago I visited LA for the first time, and I swore I’d be back soon. Oh, how badly I wanted to do my undergrad in Southern California! I never would have expected my next trip to LA to be under these circumstances (work trip to tour manufacturing facilities, essentially). In fact, as we flew down the coast this evening, thinking about 15 year old Caitlin versus current Caitlin made me feel pretty sad and disappointed. Then I got to thinking about how comforting it would be to have the soft cheek of a sweet kitty resting on my cheek, and I started missing Frank terribly. Ugh, avoiding my feelings and not thinking about tough things is only making things worse.

I Googled my last-summer-therapist today (I really shouldn’t be allowed to Google people) and discovered something about his past that kind of makes sense of the therapeutic connection we had (and also explains his PhD research focus). Now I wish he and I had talked more about that thing we have in common. (I’ll be vague for now, but will probably disclose some things relatively soon.) And the reason I bring him up right now is that when his internship ended last fall, he said he was planning to head back to LA. I toy with the idea of contacting him for therapy guidance, especially since we’re in the same time zone, but there are an awful lot of variables that would make this tricky. (The main thing being: how do I swing the payments? And would he even be willing to help?)

Okay, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to stream-of-consciousness blog in the wee hours of the night after a really long day. Tomorrow I shall frolic on the beach in steel-toed boots!

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