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Things I do not like

February 26, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

I’m currently in another slow descent toward emotional breakdown.

I had no idea how to lead into that in a softer, more gradual way, so there it is. I’ve reached a familiar level of deep unhappiness, and the slow descent is less of a trajectory toward a specific destination than it is bobbing around in choppy waters, succumbing to exhaustion every so often but mostly fighting my way to stay above the surface.

People who are unfamiliar with major depression and anxiety tend to get freaked out by this stuff, and actually, lots of my fellow depressives get freaked out, too. But I’ve been here before, and I have a pretty solid understanding of my limits, and I know that there are ways to maneuver yourself and suddenly realize that the ocean in which you thought you were lolling about in a detached panic actually has a drain plug on a long thin chain, and that chain been swaying in the waves right next to you all this time.

I need to carefully drain some of that turbulent water and leave my job. Soon.

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  1. March 11, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    ugh sorry to hear about your job possibly causing some of this depression. my depression is majorly linked with the seasons but i definitely wanted to quit my job a few [hundred] times over the past few months. i hear about you hating your job, hear about how bad my mom’s job is, know for a fact nick’s job majorly sucks, see how stressed my dad’s job makes him, and wonder IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WITH A GOOD JOB?!!! if you find someone, please let me know what that job is so i can get one similar!!!!!!

    p.s. hope you get back to happy. and soon. maybe the warmer weather and the approaching running season?

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