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Sweating it out

The past few months have been a blur – a blurrier blur than usual. But here we are, cresting the summit of 2013, and I’m ready for a few opportunities to coast and feel the wind in my hair. I’m definitely ready for at least a refreshing breeze. A heat wave has descended upon Oregon, and this A/C-less chica is not enjoying the 90+ degree days. This heat wave (plus the 4th of July) also means that the rain is done until October, which would be fine if we hadn’t had such a dry winter. Things are already kind of crispy and brown. This doesn’t bode well for wildfire season.

Today seemed as good a day as any to wrestle the cat into his carrier and take him to the vet for his annual check-up. Someone was so anxious, he left sweat marks from his paw pads on the exam table. The little studmuffin got the vet’s seal of approval, though, and I got coated in (my own) sweat and (the cat’s) fur. I daresay I looked rather Italian with all that dark hair on my arms and chest!

New Therapist did a trial run of EMDR with me during our session last week. I now have to imagine my brain as a cat at the vet’s office: flattening itself against me and then the table, taking a death grip on whatever it can get its paws on, paw pads sweating, ears back, eyes wide, mouth dry, panting… It was interesting, this trial run. We discovered that I’m still not in control of my tendency to dissociate, but I’m getting better at stopping the dissociation before I get carried away. I have a month to work on it before we try again. Here’s hoping that it cools down soon, because the heat certainly doesn’t make me want to stay present in the moment.

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