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Reorientation

I would be lying if I said that the past few months (years?) haven’t been particularly challenging. Lately I’ve been trying to cope by venting, using denial, and just plain checking out. None of this changes the fact that life has been hard, and I have been struggling big time. So the most recent never-ending, crazy-making blowout at work has to be the big neon sign I always request of the universe when something needs to change. The life I’ve been living these past couple of years has had its bright spots, but overall, what misery! I can’t keep going down this path. The funny thing is how my mind is stuck in this tired way of thinking that I need to fit into some box that’s been set out for me, and if I can’t fit into this box, no matter how hard I try, I am a huge failure. In the last few weeks, I’ve had little glimmers of insight, remembering what used to bring me joy without fail, and remembering the leap of faith I took in 2011 when I moved cross-country to a place where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t have a job lined up. (Yep, corporate America will in fact kill your spirit if you let it!) So what I’m asking of the universe right now is positive energy (as much as possible) and strength to stay the course as I leave my job amid this firestorm, reorient myself toward what fills my life with happiness, and embark on my next mysterious adventure. Onward!

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